A bachelor party is a celebration of the blushing bridegroom’s last weekend as a happy man. A chance to let loose with the guys and take one final look at everything he’ll soon be banned from enjoying by "She who must be obeyed".
It can also be a test of all the bachelor party, who really has the credentials and stamina to party like a rock star and who should have handed over his 'man card' long before. Will you be the man who parties through until morning? Or the guy who ends up in the emergency ward/police custody?
So for any intrepid men about to take up the ‘last night of freedom’ call to arms here’s a quick guide of what not to say at a bachelor party.
- I've got the shaving foam!
Should we start with his eyebrows or his balls?
- Yes officer, I am drunk. But you Sir are a twat!
- Let's put on some Justin Beiber and just get freaky!
- No man, that's just too damn dull... Let's make it 'Flaming beer pong!'
- So who's up for some show tunes?!?
- I knew the bride back when she used to be a looker...
- Yeah, back in the day she knew all the guys in the football team really well.
- Hold my beer and watch this!
- Anyone fancy a game of limp biscuit?
- But Celine Dion is a great singer!!
- No, I'm afraid two beers is my limit fellas.
- But I've got work in the morning/next week/this year.
- It's natural to get cold feet before the wedding buddy. Especially when she's that ugly.
- Take it from a man who's been married XX years... Your. Life. Is Over!
- No man, you're fiancé doesn't suffer from stress... She's the carrier.
- Perhaps we should get some mixers to go with all this booze?
- No I'm not going to "Say when..." You stop pouring when the glass full dumbass!
- Sorry officer, I genuinely thought you were the stripper!
- So when's the baby due?
- I've got a great idea! We should all get tattoos!
- We should all get matching tattoos!
- We should all wear matching shirts!
- We should all...
Shut the fuck up!
- You'll never get those cuffs on me... You Homo!
- 'Happily' married? No one has ever been 'Happily' married!!!