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  1. "Quick, before I sober up!"
  2. "Well I'm glad one of us enjoyed ourselves!"
  3. "Can you at least wash it first?"
  4. "Sorry, I fell asleep for a minute there."
  5. "Is that is?"
  6. "I need to call someone but you carry on if you want."
  7. "Ahhh, it's so cute."
  8. "That ceiling needs doing."
  9. "You have done this before right?"
  10. "We should talk about marriage."
  11. "What am I supposed to do with that?!?"
  12. "What shall we do with the other 3 & ½ minutes?"
  13. "You'll have to hurry, my husband will be home soon."
  14. "Is this going to take long?"
  15. "So, you're not just shorter than your brother..."
  16. "Ok, let's talk about technique for a minute shall we?"
  17. "Well that could've gone better!"
  18. "Actually, I haven't always been a woman."
  19. "On the plus side, at least it was quick."
  20. "Does it always look like that?"
  21. "Let's never speak of this again."
  22. "But everybody looks funny naked."
  23. "So much for sexual fantasies!"
  24. "I'm guessing I'm the first partner you didn't have to inflate first?"
  25. "What is that?"
  26. "Are you done yet?"
  27. "Houston, we have a problem."
  28. The sound of a gun being cocked behind you.
  29. "You've got to be kidding me?!?"
  30. "I guess it's not true what they say about big feet then…"
  31. "You're so much like your brother."
  32. "Do you know what spiders do after sex?"
  33. "No, that is not 'just a rash'!"
  34. "Let me spell it out for you B-R-E-A-T-H-M-I-N-T."
  35. "My brothers better than you are!"
  36. "I haven't had this much sex since I was on the game!"
  37. "You just wake me when you're done"
  38. "Wow! You don't hang around do you?"
  39. "Let's just pretend they're tears of happiness..."
  40. "I'm on the blob but you can take me up the shitter if you like?"

40 Worst Things to Hear During Sex

Prepare yourselves for the 40 worst things to hear during sex. If you're easily offended its best you turn away now and DO NOT read number 40. But if you like offending people or just have friends whose sense of humour is a sick as yours feel free to share this page via Facebook or Twitter.

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