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The Man Cave

"Every man's home is his castle..." Well no actually in these modern times its not. Every man's home nowadays has been completely invaded, overrun and conquered by the women in his life. Where once he might have strutted courtly from room to room surveying his fiefdom now he is lucky to find a room that he's allowed to either set foot in or make a mess in.

The modern man is more than willing to do his share in the kitchen, to suggest otherwise will see him thrown in the dungeon (spare room) and be denied all pleasantries (like sex), yet leave a mess after finely honing the art of the perfect triple layered sandwich and you'll never hear the end of it.

Casually you might wander through your towers to visit your eldest daughter's room for a fatherly catch-up only to find that she is busy skyping the friends she was talking to on her phone less than 10 minutes ago after having been separated for a whole half hour since school. You're clearly not welcome and shunned from the room as they are talking about things you wouldn't understand (boys) or things that "old people" don't know about (boys) or things that will make you consider buying a shotgun (boys). So maybe a bit of TV? You have that Jaws box set with 72 hours of extras and behind the scenes footage that you still haven't watched... Ah yes that's why... because as you get near the TV you can hear kids shows blasting out annoying songs that make you want to sut your ears off with the knife that would be in your man cave if you had one or zombies being shot at with what looks like a nuclear-bazooka in order to save the world. Yep, despite the several thousand dollars/pounds worth of digital gadgetry that your kids have in their own rooms (and that according to your good lady you're not allowed in yours... "But you have electronic gadgets in the bedroom..." you wisely never tell her) they still manage to spend more time watching your TV than you do.

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So a man needs his own retreat, a place where he can get away from the hustle and bustle of girly co-existence and be a man. THE MAN CAVE.

No home should be complete without one, even if you are still single and the way you live does actually have more in common with cave dwelling than modern life.

Of course not all men think the same, we each have our own priorities, for some the perfect man cave will be a personal 3D cinema with volume settings that would make Spinal Tap scream in surrender.

Or sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, your very own bar complete with taps and cocktail making facilities for when you're friends are allowed round to play.

Or maybe you are a hoarder with a collection of Star Wars memorabilia, model trains, French literature ("But it's not porn... It's art..." you weirdo) Or maybe a tool shed the like of which Tim the Tool Man Taylor would covert.

Every man should have his safe haven to fart and grunt and swear to his heart’s content, a female free zone appointed with all the decking and trappings that suit your needs or tastes. Its our dream, our goal, our RIGHT damnit! And as soon as our partners tell us we're allowed we'll build one. And if you haven't already started perhaps you should find that piece of bargaining power (actually finish the 47 DIY projects that you started when you first moved in or send the good lady away for the spa weekend of her dreams and rapidly building your cave before she gets back) it needs man toys, it needs your old football shirts, it needs to give you the freedom to express yourself in a way that doesn’t involve trips to Ikea and nodding mindlessly at the all-in-one flat-packed Swedish lamp-espresso-machine-sofa-tumble-dryer combination that is the must have that your wife decides your home cannot be without.

So for the sake of mankind, man up, man the barricades and MAN CAVE!

For top MAN CAVE gadgets and ideas;

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